For convenience, I'm just going to copy/paste an online conversation I had with a very good friend yesterday. Please forgive my grammar; we don't really pay much attention to it when we chat online:
Me: this other (company I work for) employee just came in and brought some candy
Me: (My coworker) said to have some, and I said I couldn't
Me: and she straight tried to make me eat some candy! she was like "fat is in", and I said "ok, well, regardless, I don't want to die an early death."
Me: i hate that people think overweight people only want to lose weight to look better. i mean, yeah, sure, that's part of it. but my end game is to stay alive, see.
Friend: i dont know why some people are so naturally discouraging
And my friend is right. When she said that, I realized just how many people have already said discouraging things, and I've only been implementing this life-style change and these goals for 23 days! I spend a lot of time reading other weight loss blogs and tips, and so many other people have listed "discouraging friends and family members" as a reason they never stuck with their weight loss goals before. You would be surprised how many times, in just a little over 3 weeks, I've heard things like: "Eating this isn't going to kill you", "Being bad for one day won't hurt", "This is healthy!". To which I respond: "Yes, in fact, eating that very well may kill me in the long run", "Being bad for one day in the beginning will completely throw me off track", and usually, "That's not as healthy as you think it is..." Some people think because they're eating vegetables, they're being healthy. Putting squash and zucchini in a vat of oil pretty much counteracts the healthy part and drains most of the nutritional value. And throwing vegetables on top of a 1/2 pound cheeseburger and calling it healthy...well, wishful thinking.
Basically, my BMR (BMR definition and calculator can be found here) is approximately 1970 calories per day. I have a pretty sedentary lifestyle for the most part. I began eating a maximum of 1500 calories per day. Over the past couple of weeks, I have lowered that to 1400 calories per day. I plan to stay at this maximum for a while. So even if something is technically considered healthy, I have to plan my meals and know the caloric values of absolutely everything I eat. I weigh my food (a digital kitchen scale is a must-have for me!); I generally only eat things I make at home. If I am going out with a friend, I need to know where we're going beforehand so I can look at the nutrition values online (if a restaurant doesn't list their nutrition facts, I'm definitely not eating there). I then over-estimate the calories (by about 100 or so) and then leave a little bit on my plate. Since the person who's making my food probably isn't sitting back there measuring out exactly 1 teaspoon of mayo for my chicken wrap, I can be pretty sure the nutrition facts I find online aren't 100% accurate. I feel much better about over-estimating the caloric content than I do about under-estimating.
But anyway, back to my original topic...I don't really think most friends and family members intend to be discouraging. In fact, sometimes it's just the opposite: They want me to know if I DO mess up, it isn't the absolute end of the world. Of course there are the select few who probably do, on some level at least, want to be discouraging because perhaps they have failed with weight loss in the past and seeing someone else succeed would invoke jealousy of some sort. Hopefully those aren't the kinds of people I have around in my life, but I'm sure it happens. All I know is if I was the only person left on earth, I would still be eating this way and have the same goals because I want to lose weight for ME, not for anyone else. Well, actually, let's be real...if I was the only person on earth, I would weigh 900 pounds as soon as I learned how to use the Bojangles fryers because who cares about an early death when you're the only person alive? But hopefully you sort of get my point.
On the flip-side, even though none of my friends really know about this blog yet (well, I'm actually probably the only person on the planet that knows about this blog), I do want to say thank you to the ones who have been supportive. The friend I had the above conversation with has been my biggest supporter, and she has no idea what it's like to be overweight. Usually the people who have no idea are the ones that say things like, "Why don't you just exercise?" "Why don't you just eat less?" Please. You have no idea what it's like. Or...a former boyfriend once said to me, "Have you ever considered losing weight? You're so beautiful...I just can't imagine how beautiful you'd be if you did." Why, no...no, I have NEVER considered losing weight (sarcasm)...ARE YOU FOR REAL?
Anyway, here's a shout out to all of the people who know how important this is to me (and other people on the same journey as myself), all of the people who have been encouraging, and all of the people who have succeeded in their weight loss goals! Heartyew.
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